My Gift

Growing up, my mom taught my brother and me that God gives us gifts and talents to use for his glory. She taught me that when I am listening to God, the dreams and desires I have are from him, and that is what he wants me to pursue. I truly believe this. I believe that our gifts and dreams are from God, that he created us with unique talents and desires, and when we are using them for his glory, we will live rich and satisfying lives.

So for several years now, I have been trying to figure out my gifts. Through high school and college, I searched and experimented to figure out what my talents are and how I can use them for God. I feel like it should have been simple, but it's been really tough. So many times when I thought I knew what I should do, it wouldn't work out, and I would be left wondering. Is that really my calling? If that is truly my gift, why didn't it work out in the way I thought it should? If this is what God called me to, why am I facing rejection?

Take writing, for example. Writing is my thing. I just know it is. I have been writing stories since I was in first grade. I love writing. I love reading other people's writing. I love explaining things to people. You get the idea. So when I graduated college with a degree in English, applied for what I was SURE was the perfect job for me (writing youth ministry curriculum), and didn't get that job, you can bet that I started questioning just exactly how good of a writer I am.

Now, this isn't the first time I have faced rejection regarding something I thought was God's will for me. Instead of holding onto what I THOUGHT was God's will, I let it go and followed him, feeling blind and out of place, but knowing that HIS will was better than mine. And, as always, his will was completely not what I expected. And, as always, his will placed me in the absolute perfect position.

Being a daycare teacher for toddlers is not what I had imagined God would have planned for me at all. But I LOVE IT! I really and truly do. You know why? Because every day I get to live out my gift. Not my gift for writing, (which I am still convinced IS one of my gifts, and I cannot wait to see how he uses it!), but my gift for caring for people.

At first I didn't realize that being good with people was even a gift. I mean, talents are things like singing, drawing, pitching, or speaking, right? I thought gifts would have tangible, physical results. But I really think God has shown me in the past few months that the greatest way he gifted me is my ability to love and care for people.

What I love most about this ability is that I get to use it ALL the time. It's not like writing, which you only use when you write, or throwing free throws, which you only use when you play basketball. I don't just use my gift at my job, or in my free time, or as a hobby. Caring for people is something I get to do all day long - with my toddler at StaffKIDS, with my friends through texting or facebook, with my students at SWITCH, with my parents and my brother, with my husband. I will get to use this gift to bless my children someday.

I posted before about how I am an ENFJ, which is the Myers-Briggs personality type most associated with being a "people-person". It means that not only is my gift caring for people, but it means that I LOVE to do it. Seriously, serving and loving others makes me so happy and fulfills me more than anything. Now, I can definitely be selfish, and self-centered, but on the whole I love loving people more than anything else.

What about you? What are your gifts? Do you have any gifts that aren't obvious, that maybe you wouldn't always consider to be a gift? Can loving people even be a gift, anyway?